dadesifun.com » Desi jokes http://dadesifun.com AndroidApplications download, mobile reviews,gadgets,android market news,free download android applications Mon, 05 Dec 2011 18:52:03 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 husband and wife jokes -desi jokes http://dadesifun.com/2009/11/27/15297/ http://dadesifun.com/2009/11/27/15297/#comments Fri, 27 Nov 2009 16:05:03 +0000 http://dadesifun.com/?p=15297 Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye
tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha, Koun Thi Wo?
Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo,
main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi.

Husband:u will never succeed in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense its only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

Whats the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date
and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi
utna sir chad ke bolegi.

Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream
That u were sending me
Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw
your dad paying the bill !!!

Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola:
Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.
Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur
Boli Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti

Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??
Wife remains silent
Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De

How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Bunty k pappa
And then…
Yr 7. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 8. Tum aate ho k main aaon?

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag
to the office. Why?
Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,
“What other problem can there be greater than this one?

They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand
before marriage, it is love;
After marriage: It is self-defense

An old man married a young Girl,
Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in mein
Shadi ke liye kiya daikha?
Girl: Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.

wife aur Husband Mazaar se Nikle to aik
Faqeer ne kaha: Shehzadi 5 rupey de de, Andha hoon.
Husband: De do, Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai
to zaroor andha ho ga.

Wife: Main bazar ja rahi hoon,
mujhe 50 Rupay ki zaroorrat hai!
Husband (ghusay se): Tumhen Rupay se ziada
aqal ki zaroorat hai!
Wife: Aapse wohi cheez mangi hai,
jo aap k pass mojood hai!

Ek sahab dosray sahab se: Bhai ye khushiyan kiya hoti hen?
Dosray sahab: Pata nahi bhai, meri to
kum umar me hi shadi ho gaii thi.

Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada

achi lagti hay ya aqalmandi..?

Husband: Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki

aadat bohot achi Lagti Hay…

]]> http://dadesifun.com/2009/11/27/15297/feed/ 0 Geeta saar (OFFICE HUMOR) in these tough times http://dadesifun.com/2009/09/12/geeta-saar-office-humor-in-these-tough-times/ http://dadesifun.com/2009/09/12/geeta-saar-office-humor-in-these-tough-times/#comments Sat, 12 Sep 2009 15:57:34 +0000 http://dadesifun.com/?p=2942 Geeta saar (OFFICE HUMOR) in these tough times

This is what Bhagwan Shri Krishna wants to tell you .

Hey …….(Employee) ,
Incentive nahi mila, Bura Huva
salary cut rahi hai, Bura Huva

Extra shift hogi, woh bhi bure hogi.

Hey Arjuna,

Tum pitchla incentive na milne ka paschatap na karo,
Tum agle incentive ki chinta na karo,
Bus apni salary main santusta raho….
Tumhari pocket se kya gaya , jo rote ho?
Jo aaya tha sab uper ki income thee. ;-)

Tum jab nahi the, tab bhi company chal rahi thee
Tum jab nahi hoge, tab bhi chalegee.

Hey Dhananjaya,

Tum ne aisa kaun sa response diya, jo tumhara tha.
Sab kuch, ‘cut-copy-paste’ ka khel tha.
Tum koi experience leker nahi aaye the..
Jo experience mila, yahi mila…
Jo support diya company ke liye…
Degree leker aaye the, experience leker chalo.
Jo system aaj tumhara hai…
Woh kal kisi aur ka tha….
Kal kisi aur ka or parson kisi aur ka hoga..
Tum ise apna samajh kar kyo magan ho rahe ho..

Hey Kaunteya,

Yahi tumhari tension kaa kaaran hai.
“Kyo wayarth chinta karte ho, kisse wayarth darte ho,
Kaun tumhe nikaal sakta hai……”

‘ Policy change’ company ka rule hai.
Jise tum policy change kahte ho, wahi to trick hai.
“Ek pal main tum Best performer or Hero no.1 ya Super Star ban jaate ho,
Dusre pal main tum worst performer aur target nahin achieve kar paatey ho.”

Appraisal, incentive etc. etc. mann se hata do,
Vichaar se mita do. . .

Phir company tumhari hai or tum company ke.

Tasmat Arjuna,

Na yeh increment wage tumhare liye hai,
na tum iske kabhi the. Parantu job secure hai :-)

Phir tum tension kyon lete ho……..?
Tum apne aap ko company ko arpit kar do.
Yahi sabse bada golden rule hai.

Jo is golden rule ko jaanta hai, woh review,
incentive, recession, retirement aadi se sada
ke liye muqt ho jaata hai…

]]> http://dadesifun.com/2009/09/12/geeta-saar-office-humor-in-these-tough-times/feed/ 0 Understating Desi Girls http://dadesifun.com/2009/09/06/understating-desi-girls/ http://dadesifun.com/2009/09/06/understating-desi-girls/#comments Sun, 06 Sep 2009 07:11:40 +0000 http://dadesifun.com/?p=2935 Understating Desi Girls

If you treat her nice she says “Yaar mujhe line de raha hai”.
If you don’t she says “Kitna akadta hai”.

If you dress nicely she says “Mujhay impress karna chahta hai”.
If you don’t she says “Tasteless hai yaar”.

If you argue with her she says “Ziddi hai”.
If you sit quietly she says “Dumb hai”.

If you act smarter she’ll lose her brain as you are insulting her.
If she acts smarter she think its her right.

If you don’t love her she says….
“Is ka to pehlay say hi 2-3 ladkioon ke saath chakar hai”.
If you love her she says “Peechay hi pad gayaa hai”.

If you don’t give her a kiss she says “Tum mujh say serious naheen ho”.
If you give her a kiss she says “Yaar who ladkaa flirt kar raha hai”.

If you don’t tell her your problems she says “You are not honest to me”.
If you do tell to her she says “You are a problem child”.

If you scold her she says “You act like a grandpa giving lecture”.
If she scolds you she says “Yaar, its because I care”.

If you break a promise she says “He does not trust you any more”.
If she breaks she says “Jaan main majboor thi”

If you smoke she says “You are a bad guy”.
If she smokes she says “I need this, please jaanu try to understand”.

If you do good in exams she says “Kismat NE saath diya warna tum or good marks”.
If she gets good marks she says “Its my brain “.

If you hurt her she says “You are cruel & don’t care of my feelings”.
If she hurts you she replies ” You are not understanding”.

]]> http://dadesifun.com/2009/09/06/understating-desi-girls/feed/ 0 Tax Structure in India funny But True http://dadesifun.com/2009/09/06/tax-structure-in-india-funny-but-true/ http://dadesifun.com/2009/09/06/tax-structure-in-india-funny-but-true/#comments Sun, 06 Sep 2009 07:08:42 +0000 http://dadesifun.com/?p=2932 Question 1.. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

Question 2 : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!

Question 3 : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI

Question 4 : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

Question 5: How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : PAY DIVIDEND DISTRIBUTION TAX

Question 6 : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory…
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

Question 7 : Do you have Office / Warehouse / Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

Question 8 : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

Question 9 : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes — Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No — Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

Question 10 : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

Question 11 : Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX

Question 12 : Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX

Question 13 : Have you taken or given any Services?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX

Question 14 : How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX

Question 15.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX

Question 16 : To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX

Question 17 : Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE

Question 18 : How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE

Question 19.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.’s TAX

Question 20: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY

21) INDIAN : Can I die now??
Ans : Wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!

]]> http://dadesifun.com/2009/09/06/tax-structure-in-india-funny-but-true/feed/ 0 Munna Bhai: Ye Gandhi Bapu har note http://dadesifun.com/2009/09/06/munna-bhai-ye-gandhi-bapu-har-note/ http://dadesifun.com/2009/09/06/munna-bhai-ye-gandhi-bapu-har-note/#comments Sun, 06 Sep 2009 06:45:55 +0000 http://dadesifun.com/?p=2929 Thoda Munna Bhai

Munna Bhai: Ye Gandhi Bapu har note
me haste kyun rehte hai?
Circuit: Simple hai bhai,
Royenge to note Geela Nahi ho jayega !

Munna Bhai: What is the difference between bus & cycle?
Circuit: Bus ka stand bus ke sath kabhi nahi jata,
Par cycle ka stand hamesha cycle ke sath jata hai.

]]> http://dadesifun.com/2009/09/06/munna-bhai-ye-gandhi-bapu-har-note/feed/ 0 bengali jokes http://dadesifun.com/2009/08/12/bengali-jokes/ http://dadesifun.com/2009/08/12/bengali-jokes/#comments Wed, 12 Aug 2009 01:17:47 +0000 http://dadesifun.com/?p=2240 Q : What does a Calcuttan who has a lot of time do? And what
does a hurrying Calcuttan do?
A : The one with a lot of time takes some public
transport(bus/tram). The Calcuttan in a hurry would walk.

Q : Why are Metro commuters like Dawood Ibrahim?
A : Because they are underground.

]]> http://dadesifun.com/2009/08/12/bengali-jokes/feed/ 0 english man and a desi man http://dadesifun.com/2009/08/05/english-man-and-a-desi-man/ http://dadesifun.com/2009/08/05/english-man-and-a-desi-man/#comments Wed, 05 Aug 2009 16:16:10 +0000 http://dadesifun.com/?p=2027 An english man and a desi man were both going to a interview. They were asked to use the colours green. pink and yellow. The english man goes in and says the grass is green, the sun is yellow and the sunset is pink. The desi man goes in and says my phone goes green green i pink it up and i say yellow!!

]]> http://dadesifun.com/2009/08/05/english-man-and-a-desi-man/feed/ 0 Ek din, mein dilli pahuncha http://dadesifun.com/2009/07/28/ek-din-mein-dilli-pahuncha/ http://dadesifun.com/2009/07/28/ek-din-mein-dilli-pahuncha/#comments Tue, 28 Jul 2009 17:47:41 +0000 http://dadesifun.com/?p=1771 Ek din, mein dilli pahuncha,
Station pe ek coolie se bahar jane ka rasta pooncha,  Coolie ne kaha bahar
jaake poocho.

Maine khud hi rasta doondh liya,
Bahar jaake taxiwale se pooncha,
"bhai saab Aagre ka kitna loge?"
jawab mila, "bechna nahi hai.."

Taxi chod, maine bus pakad li,
conductor se pooncha,
"ji.. kya mein cigarette pi sakta hoon?"
wo gurrra kar bola,
"hargiz nahi, yaha cigarette pina mana hai."
Maine kaha, "par wo janab to pi rahe hai!"
Phir se gurrrraya, " usne mujhse pooncha nahi hai."

Aagre pahucha, hotel gaya.
Manager se kaha, " mujhe room chahiye, satve manzil pe."
Manager ne kaha, "rahane ke liye ya koodne ke liye?"
Room pahucha, waiter se kaha, "ek paani ka gilas milega."
Usne jawab diya, "nahi sahab, yaha to saare kanch ke milte hai."

Hotel se nikla dost ke ghar jaane ke liye,  Raste me ek sahab se pooncha,
"janab, ye sadak kaha ko jaati hai?"
Janab hans kar bole, " peechle bis saal se dekh rahan hoon, yahi padi
hai...."

Dost ke ghar pahucha, to mujhe dekhte hi chownk pada Usne poocha,  "dilli
kaise aana hua?"
Ab tak to mujhe bhi aadat pad gayi thi,  Maine bhi jawab diya, "Train se.."

Meri aao bhagat karne ke liye dost ne apni biwi se kaha,  "areeee sunti
ho... mera dost pehli baar ghar aaya hai,  uuse kuch taja taja khilao..
"sunte hi bhabhiji ne ghar ki sari khidkiya aur darwaje khol diye.
Kaha, "taji hawa kha lijiye."

Dost ne phir se badi pyar se biwi se kaha,  "areeee sunti ho...inhe jara
apna chalis saal purana aachar to dikhana."

Bhabiji ek batli me rakha aachar le aayi,  Maine bhi apnapan dikhate hue
bhabiji se kaha,  "bhabhiji, aachar sirf dikhayengi, chakhayengi nahi....?"
Bhabiji ne taak jawab diya,
"yuhi agar sab ko chakhati to aachar chalis saal purana kaise hota..?"

Thodi der baad dekha,
bhabiji apne pote ko soola rahi thi,
Saath me lori bhi ga rahi thi,
"diploma so ja, diploma so ja."

Lori soon mein hairan hua aur dost se poocha,  "yaar ye diploma kya hai?"
Dost ne jawab diya,
"mere pote ka naam, Beti bambai gayi thi,  diploma lene ke liye aur saath
mein ise le aayi,  isiliye hamne iska naam diploma rakh diya."

Phir maine pooncha,
"aajkal tumhari beti kya kar rahi hai?"
Dost ne jawab diya,
"bambai gayi hai, degree lene ke liye...."

]]> http://dadesifun.com/2009/07/28/ek-din-mein-dilli-pahuncha/feed/ 0 BABBAR SHER http://dadesifun.com/2009/07/28/babbar-sher/ http://dadesifun.com/2009/07/28/babbar-sher/#comments Tue, 28 Jul 2009 17:43:02 +0000 http://dadesifun.com/?p=1767 

Tumko dekha.....to yeh khayal aaya
 
tumko dekha....to yeh khayal aaya
 
paaglon ke stock mein naya maal aaya!
 
 
 
=====================================
 
Idhar khuda hai, udar khuda hai,
 
jidar dekho udar khuda hai,
 
idhar-udhar bus khuda hi khuda hai
 
jidhar nahi
khuda hai....udhar kal khudega!
 
 
 
 
======================================
 
The night is dark, the moon is high,
 
I stop my car, u ask why?
 
I come close to u, u feel
shy,
 
I tell u those three magical words....
 
Hye La, Puncture!!!
 
 
 
 
======================================
 
Tumsa koi dusara jameen par
hua
 
to rab se sikayat hogi....
 
Ek to jehlla nahi jata
 
dusra aa gaya to kya halat hogi!!!
 ======================================
 
koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko........
 
koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko........
 
koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko........
 
abe aage bh i to bol...............
 
neuclear power ka jamaana hai, bomb se udaa do saale
 
ko...................
 ======================================
 
tuhaar chehraa moti samaan ..
 
tuhaar chehraa moti samaan...
 
moti hamaar kutte ka naam!!
 ===========================================================
 
Durakht ke
paymane pe chilman E husn ka furkat se
 
sharmana...
 
Durakht ke paymane pe chilman E husn ka furkat se
 
sharmana...
 
Ye line samajh me aaye to mujhe zaroor batana!!
 ===========================================================
 
tere dar pe sanam hazar baar aayenge,
 
tere dar pe sanam hazar baar aayenge.....
 
ghanti bajayenge aur bhaag jayenge
!!
 ==========================================================
 
He: Janeman, is dil mein chali aao
 
She: Sandal nikaloon kya!
 
He: Pagli, ye mandir nahi hai, aise hi aajao...
 ===========================================================
 
Jis waqt khuda ne tumhe banaya hoga, ek saroor sa
 
uske  dil pe chaya hoga...pehle socha hoga tujhe
 
jannat
 
mein  rakh lun..phir usse zoo ka khayal aaya hoga!!!
 ===========================================================
 
Mein Tumhare Liye Sab Kuch Karta..Magar Mujhe Kaam
 
Tha......
 
Mein Tumhare Liye Doob Ke Marta...Magar Mujhe
 
Zukham Tha !
 ===========================================================
 
Mere marne ke baad mere doston,
 
yu aansoo na bahana,
 
Agar meri yaad aaye to,
 
sidhe upar
chale aana!!
 ===========================================================
 
Unki gali se guzre..ajeeb ittefaq tha
 
Unki gali se guzre..ajeeb ittefaq tha
 
Unho ne phool phenka..gamla bhi saath tha!!
 ==========================================================
 
Kyon apni kabar khood-hi khod raha h ai Galib...
 
Kyon apni kabar khood-hi khod raha hai Galib...
 
La, phawda mujhe
de!!
 ==========================================================
 
Tumko dekha to ek khyal aaya
 
Tumko dekha to ek khyal aaya
 
Tumhari saheli ko dekha to doosra khyal aaya!!
  ===========================================================
 
Kehte hain ki ISHQ main neend ud jaati hai
 
Koi humse bhi ishq kare
 
Khambhaqat neend bahut aati hai!!

]]> http://dadesifun.com/2009/07/28/babbar-sher/feed/ 0 DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM http://dadesifun.com/2009/07/28/driving-license-applikason-phorom/ http://dadesifun.com/2009/07/28/driving-license-applikason-phorom/#comments Tue, 28 Jul 2009 17:38:21 +0000 http://dadesifun.com/?p=1764 DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM

NOTE: If you dot knows, please copy from another applikason
phorom.

For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason. Please do not
soot
the person at the applikason kounter. He will give you the
licens.

Last name:

(_) Yadav
(_) Sinha
(_) Pandey
(_) Misra
(_) Dont no
(Check karet box)

First name:

(_) Ramprasad
(_) Lakhan
(_) Sivprasad
(_) Jamnaprasad
(_) Dont no
(Check karet box)

Age:
(_) Less than phipty
(_) Greater than phipty
(_) Dont no
(Check karet box)

Sex: ____ M _____ (F) _____ not sure _____not applicable
Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right
Occupason:
(_) Politison
(_) Doodhwala
(_) Pehelwaan
(_) House wife
(_) Un-employed
(Check karet box)

Number of children libing in the household: ___
Number that are yours: ___

Mother name: _______________________
Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no, leave blank)

Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest class attended)
Dental rekard:
(_) Ellow
(_) Berownish-ellow
(_) Berown
(_) Belack
(_) Others – Give egjhakt color
(Check karet box)

Your thumb imparesson
(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not
copy thumb impression also. Please provide your own  thumb
impression.)

PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS

Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have lepht hand,
use
your thumb on right hand. If you do not have
Right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.

NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE. WE ARE VARY
ISTRICT ABOUT THIS

FORWARD THIS TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS
]]> http://dadesifun.com/2009/07/28/driving-license-applikason-phorom/feed/ 0